
You appear to be suffering from Emotional Faucet Syndrome, or EFS.
Symptoms of EFS are:
- Posting emotional messages on Twitter, Facebook, or “teh internets.”
- Getting bitch-slapped by @ZicklePop
- Listening to music on the radio that is called “punk.”
Cures for EFS are:
- STFU
- GTFO
- Growing a pair.
- Laughing at your own farts.
If symptoms continue please contact your local Kevorkian.
Facebook and MySpace are giant, Twitter is the only thing I’ve seen that could possibly, and I believe will, out-grow them. Now since they already have a giant user database, in order to make it superior, we want to think about the users. Do they want to sign up for yet another social networking site? No. Facebook and MySpace both provide API’s and login structures to allow third party applications and developers access the users account info. So let’s take something like Facebook Connect so the user doesn’t have to post things twice. Migration problem will be non-existent this way.
Now to improve on Facebook and MySpace. Step one, get rid of Facebook and Myspace “apps” and “quizzes.” Also, upon first log in to this superior social network, your Facebook and MySpace is scanned for certain activities. If you have ever done a quiz or “sold a friend” you will not be permitted to use this site. Sorry, I said superior, and this is going to be a classy operation.
So what have we done? We have made it where any current MySpace and Facebook user can migrate over. This allows there millions of users to come over, and then we tell the millions of people who do quizzes they cannot use the service because we are the superior social network and we do not need to know which Harry Potter character they are. This site will be called “The Classy Operation” and the slogan will be “The Galt’s Gulch of Social Networking.”
In my version of The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, Dorothy has been replaced with George Clooney. The purpose of which is to make the story more popular to contrast the other people in my version of the story. George Clooney gets hit by a tornado and winds up Geek-land. He is met by a roar of cheer from the little fat geeks for upon his landing he landed on Steve Balmer, crushing him.
Bill Gates appears and threatens George Clooney, after getting his autograph and asking him to be in their next advertisement. George Clooney declines and pulls out his first generation iPod which immediately scares off Bill Gates. The little fat geeks tell George Clooney he needs to go see The Wizard of Jobs for protection from the Wicked Bill of the Redmond.
George Clooney takes the “Limited Edition Rumored Yellow Submarine iPhone” road to head towards The Wizard of Jobs. Along the road he meets a scarecrow named Yahoo, who has no brain; Zune, a tin man with no heart; and the Cowardly Vista, who is half man and half pig (with lipstick).
The road takes them to the White City. They meet with the giant floating head known as the Jobs but while they are meeting with him the computer that is projecting the giant head has a kernel panic revealing the head as a computer simulation. This exposes the great wizard as actually a puny aging man in a black turtleneck and jeans. The group with George Clooney and Steve Jobs then have an on going laugh, like you would see in a 70’s sitcom and then they all turn into silhouettes and start dancing like an iPod commercial.
If the sheep is not wet, it is easier to carry across the mountain.
— Jake Bilbrey